james "EB" marsden
have you ever watched a movie that left such a bad impression on you that in turn you find yourself absolutely mindlessly hating the guy who played the lead role? well that's james marsden for me. i need to make it clear i do not actually hate this man lmao. i just sigh and roll my eyes and say mean things abt him when i see him in a show or movie or whateva. unlike my other shrines i will not be specific. this is a blind rage towards james marsden, his weird career, and his stupid pretty face.
i know him originally from the movie enchanted, i love this movie duh, and actually, i really really like him in this movie. he's a flat mostly uninteresting prince charming who is, by nature and by force of the genre, dead-set on saving the princess from eh *checks notes* new york city. he has a lot of funny one-liners and he absolutely nails this himbo role. he's a wonderful himbo in fact.
but. much to my dismay. i then saw him in hop. oh my god. i hate hop. and i hate him in this movie. it is so dumb. he forgot how to act in this one. or something. idk and honestly i dont care. i hate him so much in this movie that i now call him EB instead of his name, because they call him that in the movie. it stands for easter bunny its so. sigh im running out of mean things to say all i know is dumb and stupid. look what he does to me. i cant even access my vocabulary around him. i want to hit him really hard and push him and shove him. and drag him around my house and feed him jelly beans and comb his stupid hair. and take his cell phone and tell him what to wear and call him bunny. fuck u EB
so anyways, then i saw him in westworld. i love westworld!! but he's such a fucking dork in it i can't even take him seriously. he just stands there with his stupid cowboy hat, eyes smoldering. brain empty i imagine. and his name in this show is teddy!!! teddy??? like a bear? a teddy bear?? that you cuddle and keep on your bed??? teddy ????? say sike rn wtf
right. then. i saw him in the sonic movie. then i saw him in the sonic movie again cos i watched it again. and again, and i think again lol. sighhh lmao. i actually genuinely openly love the sonic movies, and i really like EB in this. so our current relationship status is forgiven, but on thin ice 🔪
