my confession is i have a crush on everyone
and would love to share it with anyone who will listen
i am very good at crushing on and liking people and i thought maaaybe
i could grow out of it but also secretly hope i never do
for this tutorial i'm assuming:
you already have a grasp on observation (an elementary step of science)
and daydreaming (an elementary step of creation).
the first step of having a crush on everyone:
is to crush on 1 single individual first
pick one! pick your favorite one, or the smelliest one,
or someone you're aren't supposed to crush on (risky)
(but feels so damn good)
it does not matter at all who you pick, i mean it
common ground is famously common ok anyone will do
hotties are great but once you know how to crush on everyone...
liiike, a hottie is a dime sure. a dime a dozeeen
i recommend a smelly one. they are rarer, glimmering,
a geode's hidden spiky inside exposed just after cracking it open
lucky for us, everyone wants to be known and understood
can you wiggle your ears? ok can you point them?
i understand some people can't,
so you'll just have to perk up your mental puppy ears
can you make eye contact?
it's a fickle recipe, but it can be made:
1 heart (fluttering is fine if you don't have still)
& as much vulnerability as you have lying around
matching your gaze with another requires moving your eyes up
you learned how to move your eyes up and to look into someone's face
when you were a baby and just curious enough to wonder
what the people around you looked like
you are capable of that curiosity through vulnerability
and it is rewarding!
your heart's involvement is: keeping you alive
during this vulnerable time.
and of course blushing your face. you'll be ok if they notice
you can not avoid this by removing the heart's involvement.
the next step is made easy by you being a multi cell organism
you are going to take in their stimuli. all of their stimuli hehe
you can't only look at them, with ur puppy ears up,
that is very sweet of you, so i now implore you to be even sweeter
and listen to your future crush
you will notice that they also fidget when they speak
and that they picked up on things you thought you were alone in
they will show you something on their phone,
that particular meme might bore you,
but their apps and lock screen and phone case and
fingernail polish and rings and hand veins
will not bore you. you will see a piece of you somewhere in them
and start hungrily turning over all the other ones
the next step is later, when you realized you spent enough time
right next to them that your sleeve smells like them in some way
or their pet fur is on your cargos
and that will bring you back to being distracted
by the flecks of gold in their stormy grey eyes
you'll wonder if you'll get another chance to see them
and what that chance might look like, feel like, smell like,
sound like, wait you remember their distinct voice...
and then it's over for you. you'll kind of need them...
in a frustrating way, so i am sorry for that
the final step to having a crush on everyone:
practice this on everyone
(1 caveat, except for the people who suck)
(when they decide to stop sucking they might be worth our time)
my favorite part is the surprise of what i can't get over
the way someone's upper lip accomodates their crooked teeth,
the slick way they folded something or tossed something,
i really just let myself be wrapped up in anybody's anything
i would say good luck out there,
but you don't need it because everyone is attractive
and there are delights in the mundane I PROMISE